Love, Me

I saw Silver Linings Playbook and it is just one big awkward screaming match, but that is okay.

Don’t worry about spoilers. You won’t find any here. I will just say that this movie deals with a lot of themes that resonate with me on personal levels. It isn’t my favorite piece of cinema, but it brought up a lot of thoughts on dealing with crisis, dealing with stress, taking responsibility, and coming out on the other side changed.  It made me think, and I liked that.

I am not going to review the movie or make an elaborate post about it because I feel like I do that a lot when I see films. I do not want to dwell and pick apart every scene because I do not want to take away from how the movie made me feel. SLP is not a wonder of technical aspects or pyrotechnics. It is not glitter and glitz. It is not even that great at parts, but it still struck a nerve.

So I wrote a letter to myself (or anyone reading this post) because we all get crazy sometimes and just need to be reminded things were not always this way. Keep reading if you like opening other people’s mail, or if you do not. Either way, the internet will never tell.

A Letter To Read Before Assuming Crash Position

Dear mMe (respect yourself enough to capitalize),

Life is big.

If you are doing life right, caring enough, trying enough, and failing enough, it is a lot to handle all of the time. That is not bad, but it is a lot, and you will need a break. I want you to know that is okay. It is okay to take a break. Maybe all you need is a breath, five minutes, a few hours, or maybe days, but give yourself what you can. Give yourself what you need. It does not make you selfish or weak. It makes you better.

Sweeping dizzy feelings, a crushing vice around your chest, confusing words like ‘deodorant’ for ‘batteries’ or ‘mom’ for ‘potato’ on a regular basis are signs. Crying in the car out of the blue, feeling the need to punch something till your hand bleeds, or losing your sense of purpose are signs. Listen to them. They are there for a reason. You are here for a reason. Read the signs. They will tell you what you need to know.

Stop being stubborn. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to call in favors. It is okay to take care of yourself. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you lame. It makes you human. Everyone has cracks. No one is whole by themselves. We fill each others’ gaps, and we take turns. Do not skip yourself.

You are not as alone as you think you are. You are never as untouchable or as untouched as you would like. You are not as independent from life’s experiences, and that is a good thing. People leave marks and take things from you, but they leave you with something, too. You cannot control the piece they give, so do not try. It is not your job. Your job is to decide what to do with the piece they gave you. Just remember, you cannot keep everything. There is not enough room. So hold onto the joy, let go of the pain, and make something beautiful from your memories.

People will leave. People will hurt you. You will be okay.

Life is not fair. Do not expect this to change, because it will not. Embrace inequality (but do not sell yourself short). It makes life an adventure.

More than anything, please know that it is all going to be all right. You may not believe me, but it will be. You will be.

Take a deep breath and read the signs. They will tell you where to go.

mMe (p.s. you are  slow learner)