Friend Dating
Making friends in Los Angeles is a bit like guerrilla warfare. I am on month ten here in the city of angels, and I have found that the subtlety of the mid-west does not work so well when meeting people here on the west coast. It is not that people here are unkind or rude, it is just that they are preoccupied. There is a lot going on here all of the time, there are many shiny lights and movie billboards to distract, and it always seems like everyone is trying to get somewhere (literally and figuratively). There is no time for subterfuge in a city that thrives on exhibition, so reevaluation was in order.
To tell the truth, I was kinda lonely for awhile. Matt and Bluebell are great, but I had very limited resources when it came to the calling-up-someone-to-hang-out department. So I changed my strategy and just went balls to the walls. It sucked and it was awesome, not simultaneously, but in that order.
There was a girl that I knew of through semi-regular work encounters. She seemed normal. She seemed nice. I went for it, like a boy asking the girl he sat behind in English to homecoming, I went for it.
I gave her a post-it with my name on it as I left her place of work and said: “Hey. I swear I’m not a creep (totally what a creep would say), but I just moved here (not entirely true), and if you want to be friends – you should look me up on Facebook (because I am 14).” (things in parenthetical phrases thought, not said).
Then I left. And I waited. And it sucked. The friend request didn’t come that day, or that night, or even the next night. I felt rejected. I felt embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I did something SO STUPID. I blamed homeschooling. I blamed my serial awkwardness. I blamed Bluebell for not being a human. It got ugly there for a little.
Then, after an entire week, she friended me. I tried to play it cool and even waited a few hours before accepting her request. Then I waited a few days before I sent her a tentative message suggesting possible hang-out times, but it took serious potential rejection prep before I pressed ‘send’ (is there anything scarier than sending something like that out into cyber space?). She didn’t respond for awhile and it made me feel weird inside, all sad and twisty, and I began to resign to the idea I would be alone in LA forever. Her reply in my inbox was unexpected and awesome.
She wanted to be friends! She wanted to hang out! I danced. Physically moved my body Ellen-style danced, and I was in the grocery store. This was more than just making a connection. This was roots. This was me making LA a place where I knew people, and that is a big deal.
I should not be surprised that she ended up being stupendous. We’ve hung out three times now and each time has been a grand time. Our most recent friend-date was dressing up and taking pictures at one of the many parks in the area. So, without further ado, allow me to introduce my new friend: Joanna.
Anyway. We are good friends now and LA is not so lonely so you should just go out and give people post-its with your name on it so you can tie scarfs on your head on your day off and take pictures where there are warning signs for rattlesnakes. That is the moral.
Awe, Leah! I love this, friend!
You never told me your post post-it story! Haha… So, now that I feel like the jerk boyfriend… this is my side:
This awesome girl (who I only just found out was not the mom, but the nanny. Me = feeling dumb) gives me a post-it with her name and tells me to look her up on FB. After work I feel excited to have met someone so cool! I tell my husband about it… then, I get nervous. Maybe she was just trying to be nice. I would probably just be one of her million friends on FB, and she’ll never talk to me again. Then I would just feel really dumb. I could just add her and see what happens… Maybe I should wait… I don’t want to seem overly eager. Then, I left town for a week! I got back from seeing all my friends on the other side of the country, and I was sad. And lonely. Then I remembered the post-it! And I grabbed it like a life-line. I sent out a friend request wondering if you would even remember who I was. A few hours later… Friend request accepted. I was thrilled, but I still wasn’t sure if you would know who I was. I couldn’t decide if I should send a message, and all of a sudden I had one from you! I saw the message at work, and spent the rest of my shift planning out how I would respond. Nerd.
You were so gutsy. I had never been pursued quite like this in a friendship, but I was so flattered. And a little jealous of you awesomeness. You were right when you told me making friends in L.A. is a little more like dating. So, thanks for asking me out. 😉
I am SO glad we are friends and I can’t wait for our next adventure!
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